Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Its been confirmed, I'm a man & Skillz tourney

Thanks to Waffles superb detective skills he came up with a site that can determine if a blog/website is written by a man or a woman. So I popped the old Green Fish site in there just to confirm if indeed, a man write this.

We think is written by a man (82%).

My masculinity is secure. Was it because I write about poker instead of dress sizes? Unconfirmed, yet plausible.

Also gave in 2nd in the Skillz tourney last night. I must confess, I was only half paying attention to the horse tourney as I was playing Gauntlet on my xbox at the same time, but when we got down to 4 I paid a little more attention.
Got down heads up between me and nzgreen, and because limit O8 sucks (and nz got A-A 2 times in a row) i was crushed in 3 hands, but went home with a $45 prize.
Thanks to cem for keeping that tourney going, and congrats to NZ.

Hope you all have a great turkey day, I'll probably be headed down to the Woods on Saturday with Blazman, wanted to give 5/10 w/a kill a try again. Let you all know how donkeriffic i am on Monday.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Weekend of Crap

KC lost.
No wait, losing is what professional teams do, KC attempted its best impersonation of the Washington Generals on Sunday. Giving up a franchise record 54 points to the formerly offensivly and defensivly inept Buffalo Bills.
Some highlights from the Week 12 game:
1) We got to see what our next "QB of the future" would look like as Quinn Gray got to play.
2) Chiefs fans were treated to some extraordinary seating opportunities in the 4th quarter.
3) The Chiefs were so bad, that I got to watch some other quality butt-whoopins around the NFL.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Very Hard to be a Romo Hater

A homeless man who goes by Doc was cashing in change at a Cinemark Theatre in Dallas when a guy walked up and offered to pay his way into the movie. He planned to spend his day passing out fliers and accepted a rain check before realizing that he recognized the generous gentleman.

"Was that Tony Romo?" Doc asked the worker behind the counter.

It sure was. Doc, who requested that his real name not be used, hustled across the street to the consignment store that paid him to occasionally pass out fliers and requested the day off. By the time he got back to the theater, Role Model had already started.

Romo, who confirmed the story but didn't want to elaborate, waved Doc over to sit by him and his friend. Doc sheepishly mentioned that he hadn't showered in a few days.

"Don't worry about that," Romo said. "I'm used to locker rooms."

And so the $67 million quarterback and a man who doesn't have $6.70 to his name sat next to each other and shared laughs for 90 minutes or so.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Whats in a blog? Would a rose by any other blog not smell just as sweet?

I haven't been posting too many poker stories lately for the following reasons:

1) Im not very good at poker. Isn't that pretty evident? I wouldn't know poker strategy from an Iraq troop withdrawal. Oh sure I can figure out things like "that guy on the button who has raised my BB the last 3 times can not possibly have a hand this time, clearly this an opportunity to push."

a) Bad beat stories.
Bad beat stories should be our new Gitmo torture technique. How long could Joe Terrorist stand it if he hears the 50th different story about how your A-A got cracked by (fill in the blank). At this point Joe Terrorist would have even figured out "stop slowplaying your aces!" OR "an overshove in that spot looks like a bluff of course you gonna get called with crap!" Actually that last part is supposed to be a good thing. (see section b)
I like to hear interesting bad beat stories. And by interesting, I mean the story-teller actually thinks I have NEVER heard that kind of beat story before. I listen intently (actually my ADD has tuned them out by the Turn) and then at the end when they put some inflection in their voice, I shake my head, give a little hrmph (of disbelief) and say "Thats poker!" (<--- I tradmarked that in 2004 by the way, a lot of people owe me some royalties.)

b) Online poker is rigged.
Obv. Isn't it convenient, Mr Full Tilt, that all the good players (by that I mean myself and Waffles) go on streaks where nothing we do can win? I even heard a rumor that Hoy was getting bad beat in some MTTs, clearly this is some shady buisness practices that you are involving yourself in and why lawmakers are so scared of you they want to protect us good people of the USA from your predatory buisness practices! I spoke to an anonymous congressman who reiterated to me "why should we have the good peoples of America losing their hard earned money to some donk in Great Britain or Denmark who doesn't realize that pushing every hand preflop is not a good play?" Good point. We need that money in America to save the auto industry, and besides Europe is a bunch of noobs anyway.
Getting back to the rigged thing though, seriously Full Tilt, if you didn't put one of 3 Aces left in the deck on the board every time i commit myself to a race, it might look a little less suspicious. I will give you special props for that time that you managed to make my hand in Stud only to be beaten by a less likely but always better hand. Oh and by "time" i mean 2008.
c) Live poker is rigged.
I mean that is the only solution I can come up with. I was in the WPF tourney with a guy to my right who ALWAYS got his chips in horrible (either push or call) and after fighting with him for 5 hours, he finally takes me out when he gets a great hand (AQo) 2 people at the table said they tossed an A, and my K-J doesnt improve.
Or the guy at that cash game who literally called any bet with any 2 cards because he could "outplay" anyone post flop. Outplay in this case is admiting to the table he will call with anything as long as he has a draw of some kind, getting him all-in 5 times when he had cards like 2-5cc and he won 3 out of those 5 hands. 36% my ass!
Editors Note: The afore mentioned ARE NOT bad beat stories, your humble author does not share bad beat stories, he is only commenting on the bad beat that life has placed on him. Game on.
d) Harold.

2) There are more important issues currently going on in the world now that need talking about.
a) Phillies won the World Series. My 13 year old heartache that has been hanging around now for 15 years has finally ceased. I lay blame to this as being why I have not been able to maintain relationships with women, graduate college, oh and also play poker. Finally I can move on.
b) KC Chiefs. Dude. Come on. 1-9? I mean by my calculations if you take out the 4th quarter of games, we should be no worse than 7-3. 2008 Chiefs are clearly a 7-3 team right now with the bad luck of being 1-9. And yet, 1-9 is somewhat not so bad. See the 1-8-1 Bengals, 0-10 Lions, and 2-8 Raiders.
c)Fantasy Football is rigged. All my money teams are under .500, this has never happened to me, however, my non-money league team with buddies from PA my team is 8-2-1. YEAH TAKE THAT! I also have now just come to the conclusion, that anything negative in my life is obv rigged. This will include: my dogs, my girlfriend, my family, my job, my boss, my employees, my car, and last but not least McDonalds (i want a f-ing Shamrock Shake). Yup thats right, they are all rigged. See, I feel awesome right now!

3) My hair is longer now than it was when I was single teen. What does that have to do with my non-poker blogging? Nothing. Just felt like I should share.

4) My mind has been forever altered by Toyota's "Saved By Zero" campaign, I will go on a rampage in some 5-10 years, and I will scream "Saved by 0" over and over again. By then, no one will know what that means and I will go down in wikipedia as the "Saved by 0 serial killah!" Mark my words, friends.

I cant really think of anything else, right now im just waiting for Lost to resume so I can see if my bet that Jin is still alive gets paid off (I was harmed by his DUI arrest, but still hold out hope) but Lost is rigged too.

Funny news from the NFL

Eagles safety Brian Dawkins was clearly distraught after the Bengals game and had this to say in the postgame press conference about how tying felt to him: "It's like in 'Talladega Night' how they say there is only first place and last place." Let this be the latest reminder to you that sports are not to be taken seriously. Sports problems are not real problems. Dawkins was visibly upset and what came to his mind was ... "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby." If in your darkest hour, you quote lines from absurd Will Ferrell comedies, you have a blessed life. I mean, it's not often a person is called to the morgue to identify a loved one and tells the medical examiner: "It's like in 'Anchorman' when he says: 'It's a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. I'm gonna be honest with you, Brian, that smells like pure gasoline.'"

T.O. = B.O.

Maybe He Could Work for AIG, He Has an AIG-Style Grasp of Numbers:
Asked about being 0-10, Detroit coach Rod Marinelli snapped to a reporter at a news conference, "I am not 0-10; you are 0-10." Maybe you've got to be in serious denial to work for the Lions. Overall, Marinelli is 10-32 as a head coach. Sorry, you are 10-32 as a head coach.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Sad Day For Many Across The Globe

For immediate release November 12, 2008 Agencies Issue Final Rule to Implement Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act

The Department of the Treasury and the Federal Reserve Board today announced the release of a joint final rule to implement the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006. The Act prohibits gambling businesses from knowingly accepting payments in connection with unlawful Internet gambling, including payments made through credit cards, electronic funds transfers, and checks.

The Board and the Treasury are required by the Act to develop a joint rule in consultation with the Department of Justice. The final rule requires U.S. financial firms that participate in designated payment systems to establish and implement policies and procedures that are reasonably designed to prevent payments to gambling businesses in connection with unlawful Internet gambling. The rule provides non-exclusive examples of such policies and procedures and sets out the regulatory enforcement framework. For purposes of the rule, unlawful Internet gambling generally would cover the making of a bet or wager that involves use of the Internet and that is unlawful under any applicable federal or state law in the jurisdiction where the bet or wager is initiated, received, or otherwise made.

Compliance with the rule is required by December 1, 2009.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

ELEs, a legitimate threat?

I found this article while cruisin the nets, and I was intrigued. The subject matter is the Science and politics of funding research for ELE Asteroids.

Kinda long, but a lot of interesting info:


Friday, November 7, 2008

At least im not alone

Great post from Bill Simmons regarding a recent rant of mine:

17. New Orleans Saints
Drew Brees is my runner-up for the 2008 Halfway MVP. Look at the Saints right now: They have below-average talent; they lost their two best skill position guys for weeks at a time; they had to deal with the potential of another hurricane in Week 1; they lost a home game to play in London; they're in the toughest division in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE; and somehow, they're 4-4 and favored on the road this Sunday against an underrated Falcons team. It has been Brees and Sean Payton, and that's really it. Speaking of halfway points, let's take a commercial break before the second half of the column.

Saaaaaaved byyyyyy zerrrrrr-ohhhhhhhhhh.

"Now, for a limited time only, you can get amazing zero APR financing on your favorite Toyota."

Saaaaaaved byyyyyy zerrrrrr-ohhhhhhhhhh.

"That's 0 percent financing on 11 different models! Featuring Toyota's legendary quality. No other car brand can make this offer. So hurry in now, and see how much zero can save you on a brand new Toyota."

Saved by zero! Saved by zero!

(By the way, I did that off the top of my head. We are reaching the point where I am two weeks away from stopping by my local Toyota dealership, buying a brand-new Toyota Tundra with zero APR financing, driving the car off the lot, doing a U-turn, then plowing it through the front window of the dealership at 60 mph while screaming, "SAVED BY ZERO," like the guys from "Red Dawn" screamed, "WOLVERINES!" Cut down on the ads, Toyota. We're not kidding. You know why you haven't see John Mellencamp in two years? He's trapped in the basement of some frustrated baseball fan who dressed him like the Gimp and keeps him in a trunk after hearing "Our Country" for the 700,000th time. Look, we're all ecstatic that the guys from the Fixx are getting royalties again. Just tone it down. We get it. Zero APR financing. Heard you loud and clear.)

And we're back!

Items that make me feel like the death penalty is the only justice:

Tuba Man

How tragic and awful. Fry the perps!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Today, when I woke up, I felt like something great happened

What a great time in history to be living in huh? I wish Obama all the best and hope he can be the president everyone thinks he can.

I have a big long editorial in me somewhere, but im at work and feeling lazier than usual so maybe another time...

Some things that my ADD makes me think randomly:

Commercials -
Sick of the Toyota "Saved By 0" commercials. I watch football on Sundays for 10-12 hours and i have to see this commercial way too many times. During the playoffs, it was played once every half inning...

No matter how many times I hear that Ipod touch commercial song, i cant get tired of it. Its catchy and happy.

Friday Night Lights Direct TV commercial. I don't know whos creative idea this piece of crap it was but the things I think everytime i hear the stupid song start for this one is "Town infested by vampires" not high school football.

Football -

This season is pretty boring in the NFL. This could be
#1: because the Chiefs suck worse than they usually do
#2: It seems every week in fantasy football im getting blown out of losing by mere points.
Fantasy football has not been good to me this year, even though I felt like I drafted pretty well. 3-6, 3-6, 4-5, 4-5, and of the course the non-money league one: 7-1-1.

Video Games -

So far this fall, video games that have been released have been pretty awesome.

The first game I got was Dead Space. Dead space is a horror game set in, wait for it, Outer Space! It draws from a collective of influences such as "Aliens", "Event Horizon", etc etc. So far im about 1/3rd of the way through and i cant play for more than 20 mins a pop or I fear my heart will stop, seriously. Great game though!

Of course I had to put Dead Space down when an even more exciting release came out, Fallout 3. This game is amazing! Non-linear game plot, RPG elements. Its like a MMORPG without the multiplayer.

GoW2 is released Friday and I assume that most of this weekend will be spent online with friends, chainsawing each other. Good times!

Work -

I've meant to continue my work story, but really the DJing was way more exciting than what I do now.

I'm also having severe thoughts about leaving my current position. To give the long and short of it, I've been with my company 5 years. I went from a CSA to Senior CSA to Team Lead to where I am now.
Back in February my manager was fed up with her manager. So she decided to leave and found a job within the company. There was some animosity between her and her boss as he tried to prevent her from leaving without training a replacement, eventually he relented and let her go.
It left me alone as the commander in chief of my team, I was told at the onset it would be temporary and they would bring in a Supervisor who would train me to be a manager and then eventually I would take over. So maybe a month or 2 tops to be by myself.
Well in that span, all the issues that my previous manager let slip by the wayside with regards to HR issues came to a head. I took it upon myself (being that no one else, especially not my ex-bosses' boss) to start enforcing the rules as they should have been. It didn't go over well at first, but then people kinda settled into the flow. Well the upper management types took notice that I was a "no-nonsense guy" and abanadoned the plan to hire a sup to train me to be a sup.

Well I'm in my 9th month of acting manager without a promotion or raise of any kind. Since the market's tanked the boss hasn't said a peep about my future and in that span we have stopped hiring regular CSAs instead we are hiring bilingual CSAs, this has basically saved our team here as if it weren't for having bilingual reps we would have been axed.

I should be happy, im not bothered too much since my boss is located in Minot, ND and is apparently pleased with my performance. However, there has been no mention still of promotion/raise (and with the market in the tank, no bonuses either)and my 1 on 1 meeting with the boss never amount to more than him asking how each person on my team is doing.
In speaking with co-workers they continually ask me why I dont bring up the issue of promotion to him. My personal philosophy is that I shouldn't have to beg for this promotion/raise. I am doing them a great favor by playing ball, and at the very least you think he could give me a heads up when, if anything is coming. Now this philosophy can be debated till im blue in the face (I have had these discussions with my co-workers trust me) and thats how i feel.
Recently ive been thinking of moving on, the problem is Im worried if I apply to a job within the company hes going to attempt to block me from leaving like he blocked my former boss...just a PITA. I could go outside the company but the Financial Services Industry is in shambles....Im really confused at what to anyone?

Monday, November 3, 2008

I like this guy

Commentator from KC Star Newspaper boards:

And lo the Barbarians from the Bay of Tampa entered the gates of Arrowhead. And the people of Arrowhead were filled with foreboding and wondered if the army of Arrowhead could repel the Barbarians. For the harlot Worm had told the people that the army of Arrowhead would not be strong for 2 more years according to his divine plan. And the army of Arrowhead was weak with only a Pigpen, and their chariot Johnson was still held in the dungeon for sinning against a woman.

And the harlot Worm attempted to hide his army's weakness by ordering his General Gailey to attack the Barbarians from the Bay of Tampa with magic and lightning. And the army of Arrowhead jumped on the Barbarians from all sides and confused and conflicted them. But King Gruden of the Barbarians scowled at the harlot Worm and his army of Arrowhead and was not afraid, nor fooled for long. And King Gruden barked at his warrior Garcia and his Barbarian horde and ordered them to counter attack the army of Arrowhead.

And the harlot Worm cowered at the onslaught and ran to the safety of his false commandments. He ordered the army of Arrowhead to retreat and to run twice before flying, to not fly if winning, and to kick if threatened. And the Barbarians were relentless and rained thunder upon the army of Arrowhead and ground them under their heel. And the battle waged on until late in the day. But before the sun could set on an Arrowhead victory, the harlot Worm took time to make the sun stand still and give the Barbarians the power to emerge victorious.

And the people of Arrowhead were dismayed after the long battle and could not understand how the army of Arrowhead lost. And the people cried out against the harlot Worm saying "The Worm hath wrought this!" And the scribes made excuses for the harlot Worm for they depended upon the Worm for their manna. And the people pleaded to the Lord saying "Why have you cursed us? Deliver us, for we are led by fools that have deceived us!"

But the lord hardened his heart against the people of Arrowhead, for they again chose not to listen to his warnings nor heed his commandments. And the lord said "Since the people of Arrowhead have not obeyed me, they must drink the bile of the bitter cup until I choose the day of deliverance. But the day of deliverance shall not come until the great tribulation whence only the righteous who have obeyed my commandments and heeded my warnings shall rejoice."

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Chase Utley says it all!